last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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