Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
