Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
