ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
