Only a mothe r could love this liver
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
