New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize