If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize