Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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