One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
