Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I color on your dick again?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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