Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
