We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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