you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
