1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
