Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
