Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
