Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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