Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
