a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
