hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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