Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize