Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
