a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
