Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
