Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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