You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize