Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize