I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
