Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize