They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
