I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My ass is underappreciated
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
