he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize