your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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