they need to just BURY HIM!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
