Your dad touched me again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
