I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
