there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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