Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
