I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He passed out mid-signature
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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