I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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