Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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