I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
