well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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