i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
