I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
