I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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