Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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