I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
