You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
