The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
