it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
