Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
