Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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