You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
