dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What did we do last night that was yellow?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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