Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
