i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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