i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
