Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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