Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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