You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
