how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize