is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
